I’m also going to use this place to document when I self harm. So triggering matterial bellow.
It’s a beautiful, snowing, and cold night. I type this on my phone as I smoke my first cigarette in a few weeks.
I’m starting to feel manic. Everything is too much. I’m bundled up outside beside my wife. I’m dressed in my Harley Quinn full body union suit. (classic Harley) with my thick and heavy Jedi robe around me.
I can feel the blood sticking to my left leg of my jammies.
Only five minutes ago I finished carving the word ‘Monster’ into my thigh. It’s messy, hard to read. The ‘M’ clear and the rest mearly scratches. It won’t scar. Only half the ‘W’ did when I wrote Whore onto the same thigh years prior.
I won’t tell my wife but she’ll find out soon enough on her own. By reading this or when we snuggle in bed soon enough. Sorry Aunna. I love you.